Herbert is Angery and this is nothing new
by kitsunefireball
Summary: Klutzy gets a rude anon, and Herbert gets ANGRY. Oneshot written out of spite because what can I say, spite fuels me. Its 4 am and I regret nothing.


This day was pretty eventful, Herbert decided, switching his monitor off with a smirk, thinking how panicked that penguin must've been as their computer destroyed itself...He looked over to Klutzy, who was wiping at his eyes with his claws. Herbert rolled his eyes and gently patted his friend on the back. "Psh. That simpleton wouldn't know an awesome story if it hit him in the face. I thought it was pretty good." He spoke, giving a glare to the computer, as if it personally offended him. He thought back to the events that took place earlier today, and growled. How dare. How dare indeed.

Herbert had been cleaning his lair at the time, picking up stray parts that had been scattered across the cave after building one of his latest creations. He was right in the middle of picking up a ½ wrench when he heard his friend's frantic clicking, and stopped what he was doing. Huh? What could've had Klutzy so anxious? He could barely make out the broken clicks, but it sounded like he was distressed. Did the PSA find them already? They had just moved here a little over a week ago, there was no possible way!

Herbert stopped what he was doing and ran over, nearly knocking over a plant in his wake. He stopped as he entered the room, glancing around. Well...Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary, at least, not that he could see. He gave another glance around the room, and spotted Klutzy on his computer chair, apparently playing on his computer, as he often did. He looked to be...panicking about something...Did that D- G? What was his name again?- character hack into his computer?

He walked over, leaning over the chair Klutzy was currently perched on. He took a glance at the computer, and hummed in confusion. He didn't recognize the website Klutzy was on, but it appeared to be a site where you could post stories...If the buttons on the side were any indication. He looked down at Klutzy- Still seemingly distressed, and cleared his throat. The crab apparently didn't see him, and blinked at him in surprise. Were...Were those tears? Ok, something was seriously wrong. And he would get to the bottom of it.

"Er...Are you alright? You sounded pretty...upset." He said, empathy winding its way into his voice. Wow. Color him surprised, he expected himself to sound a lot more...growly when he said it. Klutzy seemed to have noticed his attempt at kindness, and wiped at his eye with one of his claws. He turned his eyestalks to the computer screen, clicking out a reply.

Herbert raised his eyebrow, looking over to the computer screen. A story review? That's what had his sidekick so upset? Sure enough, there was a comment on-screen, made by an anonymous penguin. And boy, it did NOT have anything nice to say at all.

He may be a criminal, He may be cynical, and rude, and a Not Nice person in general, but wow. That comment rude and totally unnecessary. He could feel the anger burning in his stomach. Seriously? This person REALLY felt the need to say that kind of stuff to a person as kind as Klutzy? Herbert would admit, sure, Klutzy was...Well, Klutzy at times, and sometimes a little too nice, but he didn't deserve to have someone try to make him feel bad! He was CRYING for pete's sake!

Herbert looked back down to Klutzy, who had looked away from the screen with sadness, and felt pure, cold, _Resolve_ run through his veins. No. He wouldn't sit by and watch his henchm- No...His...Friend being treated like this. He huffed in irritation as an idea started brewing in his mind.

"Here, i'll take care of things here, go get some tissues and wipe your eyes." He hoped he didn't sound too angry when he said it, he did feel quite peeved at that moment. Klutzy nodded and hopped down, scuttling off to go fetch some tissues.

Herbert stretched out his fingers, feeling the satisfying popping feeling. Good, that should be enough time to do what he had planned. His paws were a blur as they went through practiced motions of adding numbers and placing code here and there.

It didn't take him very long to get into the computer, nor did it take him long to prepare the 'Surprise' he had planned for the, frankly, RUDE person. He quickly opened up a notepad, and got to typing. He had a few choice words for this jerk.

"Hello there, My name is Herbert P. Bear, Esquire. You may or may not have heard of me, but for once, i'm not here to gloat over my ego. I must say, you've left quite the nasty comment on my friend's story. Do you really enjoy crushing someone else's feelings that much that you felt the need to do that? He was probably excited to get his first review, and you had to make him feel terrible about it. It may not be the best, or the most creative thing out there, but it was something he probably spent hours of time making and perfecting. Just for you to make him feel awful about it. I hope you're proud of yourself for hurting someone over something so petty. Just like I'm proud of _myself_ for still knowing how to create viruses. Say goodbye to system32! Turns out, Spite is a _Great_ motivator. Maybe next time you'll grow half a brain cell and learn not to mess with the friend of a genius."

He chuckled vindictively as he closed the notepad. His work was now done, and by the looks of things, Klutzy was back with the tissues already. Herbert still had one last thing he had to do, though. A google search later, he had figured out how to remove the nasty review from Klutzy's story, and had turned the monitor off. Maybe it was a good idea to get Klutzy away from the negativity for a bit.

Herbert snapped back into reality as he felt a claw tug at his arm, and the still-slightly puffy eyes of his crabby friend. He looked...grateful. Klutzy clicked out a 'thank you,' and was holding up his claws, what did h- ...Ohhh. Herbert gave a lazy smirk, picking Klutzy up in a loose hug. He couldn't help smiling, honestly...Is this what it felt like to help others? It...felt nice.

He probably wouldn't trade this moment for the world.

-EPILOGUE-

"What do you mean, you can't fix it?!" The penguin shouted, irritation evident on his face. Gary schooled his face into a careful expression of calm, the stranger looked about ready to explode. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, but we have no evidence to prove that this person is a threat to the island." The genius had to fight to keep himself from rubbing his temples, he hadn't planned on getting into a shouting match this early in the morning.

"I told you, the hacker is Herbert, isn't he a class 1 criminal? I thought he was your enemy!" The penguin was getting really worked up now, and Jetpack guy looked just about ready to step in, he had decided it would've been best to step back for now and let his superior handle it.

"While he is our enemy, there's simply not enough proof to prove that it's him we're up against, Imposters exist for a reason, after all." Jetpack guy was impressed, honestly. Gary had a level of patience that could match Aunt Arctic's on a good day.

Unfortunately though, the stranger did _not_ , and had stormed out of the building, yelling about...something. It was hard to tell through the sheer use of expletives. Still though, Something about this situation struck Jetpack guy as...odd. Wouldn't they at least explore the chance of it actually being Herbert?

"Shouldn't we investigate? What if it really _is_ him?" Jetpack guy asked, glancing towards Gary.

"I doubt it, after all, it could just be that our client had done that himself. After all, what kind of person hacks another person's computer for something like a review?"


End file.
